Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
