i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This is the high leading the old right now
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
