i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
