Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize