WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
