I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
