he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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