So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i came on her dog
it's great music for shaving your balls
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize