dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
