Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got inside last night via doggy door
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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