If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You are a genius and a whore.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
