So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
