Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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