FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize