You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
