If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
