dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
