Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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