Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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