Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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