The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize