Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.