bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?