i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
