I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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