Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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