Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Your shirt... Was in my pants
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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