I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
