we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
