I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
