You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She's JV to your varsity
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
