she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
