The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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