i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
