3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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