Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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