Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
