That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
