It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize