All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
