gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
