a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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