stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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