Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
