I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
