i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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