I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
