The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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