He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize