I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Randomize
