it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
