Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
