Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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