I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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