that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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