I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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