he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
