I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
