You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize