i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
