I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
one might say we're banned from that church
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
