tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The Olympian is in my bed
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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