my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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