i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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