Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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